no kids please!!

oh i forgot to add on my former blog, i am NOT ready to have kids for SURE, not now...don't even know if ever! i know i'm jumping the gun here seeing how i'm not even engaged, but being in pediatrics for just 2 days, i know i'm not ready for the responsibility of little kiddies running around. babies strike fear in my eyes!!! my boss sent me in to examine an 8 month old kid with vomiting/diarrhea x 3 days...and i came out saying, "i'm sorry, i don't know what to do!" he looked at me strangely, and said, "just do as you would an adult...look into ears, throat, heart and lungs..." Ugh, the baby is so squirmy, how do you make an infant open his mouth so you can look inside? how do you not poke out his eardrums when he whips his head the other direction while you are trying to examine his ears? and doing this all in front of an overly anxious parent? EGAD!! nerve-wracking...i don't even know the stages of a normal kid, such as when they walk, talk, when they stop breastfeeding, when they are toilet trained, when then can understand people speaking, how big they are supposed to be, when they start teething, etc. TOO MUCH!!! i swear, you gotta be a mommy or daddy before getting into peds. oh, and i must mention, germs everywhere. i haven't been sick once in 1.5 years here at Yale...and now i'm sick with just 2 days of pediatrics work. just lovely.

oh, and in the mornings, i do newborn rounds where we go from each new baby to examine them for genearl health. every student/resident/md is ooohhhing and aaaahhhing over each baby, and yes, i agree they are cute. but i don't find myself oohhing or aaahhing. i don't do all that baby talk, tickle them, snuggle, etc. i'm just...not that interested. just little people lying in plastic basins. haha, i sound so harsh! but yea...i def don't feel that cutsie bond with newborns. =(

so turns out delivering babies in ob/gyn was great (i just read my old blog, can't believe it was that long ago)--i'm not deterred from having babies from that. very cute, not all too painful with an epidural and a good doc who can guide the baby out slowly and not have any skin rips. the one thing i know is that i or the baby will have to be near death before they even consider a c-section. i was in more c-sections than births (not surprisingly anymore), and it looks absolutely brutal and gruesome. i've never had so much blood on my gown, gloves...face mask even! thank god the mom can't see, and thank god the dad's not looking. so many moms are going through c-sections 'cuz it's "faster" for the docs, and less risky in case the fetus is in distress. i'm gonna hang as long as i can.

so that's that...for my married friends...any plans for kiddies yet? i know i have at least one friend who doesn't want kids...i may have to join you! =P i guess only time will tell, a very very very very very LONG time, hehe. =)